An Epic 2016

I am setting myself up for an epic 2016.

No, don't worry - I don't have a whole rash of resolutions written neatly on the first page of my brand new 2016 journal a la Bridget Jones.  Heaven knows I wouldn't keep them.  I am not in love with the man of my dreams, no big promotion looming on the horizon. and unfortunately no big Lotto Max win.  I am even realistic enough to know that this isn't the year the Leafs bring Lord Stanley's cup home.

I wish I could say 2016 will be epic because I figured it all out finally.  Nope, I am just as clueless as ever.  In fact, this year will be epic because I don't have it all figured out and I am finally surrendering to it.  2015 helped me realize that I spent too much time waiting for everything to be perfect, waiting for the perfect set of circumstances (enough money in the bank, the perfect man, the perfect job) to be in place before I start.

In 2016 I am done waiting for perfect.  I am done trying to be someone I am not.  This is the year I no longer simply do what I am good at.  I will do what I love however impractical.  For the last 20 years I have compromised, sacrificed and done the "right" thing.  All because I thought it was what was expected of me, what any good daughter, sister, employee would do.  Turns out, I was wrong.  No one really expected these things from me except maybe me.

So now the adventure begins.  I sold my beautiful Vancouver condo with views of the North Shore mountains.  I quit my well paid, Vancouver based corporate job, giving up security, title and prestige (and the purple pony that is a senior corporate HR job in Vancouver).  I purchased a ticket to Bali (feel free to insert Eat Pray Love references here), started studying for my GRE and plan to start a PhD in Leadership somewhere in the US.

Most of the time I am super excited by the uncertainty of this adventure.  It feels like the right thing to do.  It feels like what needs to happen so I can feel - pardon the cliche- whole.  The veil of my depression lifts, I feel, really feel, for the first time in a long time.  I want more of this.

Of course this excitement is frequently followed by bouts of panic - seriously, I must be fucking crazy.  What am I thinking, walking away from a great salary, stability and a wonderful apartment.  Not to mention the city of Vancouver and my beloved friends here.

Gulp, well there is no turning back.   The condo is gone, I gave notice (last day January 14th) and I leave for Bali January 15th.  Wish me luck.