Deep Breath In

It is here.  The last day of work.  I thought I would be more excited.  I am leaving for Bali less than 12 hours after all.

I underestimated how hard it is to say good-bye.  To leave behind all the great parts of this life.  My amazing friends and co-workers.  The beautiful city of Vancouver.

The city is putting on a spectacular show for me today.  The kind of bright winter sunshine that brings Vancouverites out of hiding and onto the streets.

Co-workers are sharing cards and hugs and kind words.  Reminding me of the amazing human connection that gets lost in the day to day tasks that are our jobs.

And my friends.  This is the second time I am leaving Vancouver.  Saying good-bye to people who are my family.  On Saturday they shared their wishes with me.  Wishes for adventure and health. Leaving them is the worst part of my new life.  Sure, technology let's us keep in touch but it isn't the same.

This leaving behind the old and comfortable and loved is why so many of us don't make the changes we are yearning for.  Because it is complicated.  And painful.  And scary as hell.

It is easy to talk yourself out of it.  Those days of relentless rain that makes it impossible to live in this city give way to a brilliant sunny day and all is forgiven.  It can't be that bad.

You have a great meeting or really connect with a co-worker and suddenly that job that stresses you out is a little more fun.

So, Deep Breath in.  I am going to do this.  And it will be amazing.  And a little sad.  And there is room for both of these things and a million more.